Friday, March 19, 2010

The Beginning

I have spent the last several months in blogger-hiding for multiple reasons, but the main one was my marriage. I wasn't free to talk about it online. I had too many links from my real life to my blog and couldn't risk pulling my kids into a situation where they might be brought into it. The only solution I have been able to find is to start anew. I'll still update from time to time my other blogs, but until I can write without feeling like I'm lieing for not talking about my marriage, then I'll primarily stay here.

I named this blog Getting Back to the Basics for many reasons. I'm focusing on getting back to the basic building blocks of my faith, of my children's discipline and education, of my health, and to the basics in my marriage. I plan on exploring what that means for me here, as well as just trying to be honest and open as I sort through the life that I never thought I would have.

Let's meet the cast of characters:

Sailorman: My husband. We've been married for 4 1/2 years but known each other for nearly 9. Usually I love him, but some days I want to throw him out of a third-story window. He suffers from severe depression and no matter whether he's taking medication for it or not, we see the effects of it on a daily basis. He is in the Navy and is currently deployed.

The Girl: is 3. Her name is hard to pronounce. She's artistic and creative and stubborn and frustrating. She makes my world a beautiful place with a (generally) sweet spirit, but her perfectionism and know-it-all attitude promises a teenage-hood full of challenges. If nothing else, I can say she makes my life fun. She also has her Daddy wrapped around her little finger, and she knows it.

The Boy: is 2. He's the sweetest most loving child I've ever known. He loves to cuddle and kiss and tickle. He wants everyone to always smile and is the first to say he's sorry and ask for a hug whenever someone is acting even a little upset. He worships his sister, and clings to his mommy.

The Whore: is just what she sounds like she might be -- a person that shouldn't be a part of my marriage. My husband might argue that she has her good points, but I don't see them. She works on Sailorman's ship and there is nothing physically going on between them. If that changes, she might die. The emotional relationship is being cut off as much as it can, but until they no longer serve on the same ship, I have little hope for it staying that way. I have hope that I will be able to cut her out of this cast of characters at least by next fall.

Therapist Fred: Obviously my therapist. He is helping me find my way through life right now as it's proven to have rougher waters than I ever imagined.

Steph: That would be me. Wife. Mommy. I used to be a teacher, now I teach my kids. I'm involved in my church and am trying to be more so. I have fibromyalgia that makes life difficult from time to time.


And that's our currently family in a nutshell.

Next post: The marriage fiasco.

2 comments:

  1. Did you mean to put Sailorman's name in there? (sorry just want to make sure in case you need to take it out).

    Completely understood on needing a break and not being able to say certain things online. Its an awkward feeling, and my stuff isn't anywhere near this big.

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  2. Ack! No! Thanks ... fixing it.

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